We
continue our 12-part series on shame, based on Brene′ Brown’s book, Daring Greatly.
Let’s
begin with these words from Brene′.
“People
often want to believe that shame is reserved for people who have survived an
unspeakable trauma, but this is not true.
Shame is something we all experience.
And while it feels as if shame hides in our darkest corners, it actually
tends to lurk in all of the familiar places.
Twelve ‘shame categories’ have emerged from my research.”
Money and Work
Shame
can ride on our shoulders if we find ourselves in the unfortunate situation of
holding a particular position of lesser esteem than those around us. We are a society prone to value certain
professional labels and shun other worthy and needed occupations. Without listing occupations of esteem or
shame, I’ll let you figure that one out for yourself.
In
some research I have done, money shame shows up for people making $20k per year
and people who make $800k per year. The
take away is this … if you have shame over your money situation, you’re not
alone.
When
our pay check doesn't match the level of spending we desire, then we feel out
of sorts and humiliated, and we even go around with a hang-dog demeanor. On some level we have to come to terms with
our situation as it is and make peace with our circumstances.
The
labels we bear when it comes to money and work are huge in defining our sense
of self-worth.
Our
tendency is to shame ourselves. We beat
up on self with phrases like …
“I’m not doing it
right.”
“I’m not good
enough.”
“I’m unforgivable.”
Be
gentle with YOU!
Again,
I find myself wishing I had a magic elixir to help us with this topic. This I do know; if you like the work you do
and it fills a need in society, then I hope you can find some measure of
acceptance and esteem in knowing you are doing good for your community and for
yourself.
Don’t
beat yourself up over the size of your paycheck or the grit of your job. Do it well, do it with joy, and hold your
head up very high.
P Michael Biggs
Offering
Hope
Encouragement
Inspiration
One Word
at a Time
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