We
begin a 12-part series on shame, based on Brene′ Brown’s book, Daring Greatly. Order Daring Greatly by clicking here.
Our
publishing schedule will be Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Let’s
begin with these words from Brene′.
“People
often want to believe that shame is reserved for people who have survived an
unspeakable trauma, but this is not true.
Shame is something we all experience.
And while it feels as if shame hides in our darkest corners, it actually
tends to lurk in all of the familiar places.
Twelve ‘shame categories’ have emerged from my research.”
Appearance and Body Image
This
is a huge area for creating a lot of shame for men and women. We never quite feel we measure up in the
image department. In a world where
glamour and beautiful features are in high demand, we readily see how this can
lead those less gifted to feel inadequate and shamed.
I
have a memory of dating a lovely woman a few years ago. One day she wanted to go swimming. I suddenly panicked. I’m a really nice guy, but have battled a
weight problem most of my adult life. I
begged off from this swimming outing and even used the words “I am ashamed of my body image.”
Not
a proud moment, but a truthful one.
Brene′
says “Shame is having someone say ‘when
is your baby due’ and you’re not pregnant.”
Any
redemption I might offer to this characteristic seems weak, but here is my
attempt.
If
you are one who suffers with shame over your appearance and body image there
are some things one can do. The obvious
ones are healthy eating choices and exercise first. Not only will this benefit overall health –
the improved confidence one can gain from this is immense. It’s an overwhelming feeling of “I’m taking
charge. I’m doing something pro-active.”
There
is one more factor to consider. If one
judges you solely on appearance/body image, is this really a relationship you
want to pursue?
Is
that job really the ideal one for you if a certain body image is the criteria
that one must meet?
Seth
Godin, in a daily blog, gave some advice that I find very freeing. I am paraphrasing:
“You will not reach every person in the world. Every person in your town will not buy you
products. Everyone will not watch your TV
show nor buy your advertised products.
All one can do is reach those who like and embrace what you offer.”
I
am a blogger. Not even every member of
my large family reads my blogs.
Bottom
line – beneath your appearance and body image beats the heart of a person of
great value. Discover that genuine
individual and embrace him/her. Set her
free and be at home in your own skin. Be
the best you this world has ever seen.
P Michael Biggs
Offering
Hope
Encouragement
Inspiration
One Word
at a Time
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