Shame 7-Addiction

We continue our 12-part series on shame, based on Brene′ Brown’s book, Daring Greatly. 

We publish on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Each week we are introducing each blog with this quote from Brene′.

“People often want to believe that shame is reserved for people who have survived an unspeakable trauma, but this is not true.  Shame is something we all experience.  And while it feels as if shame hides in our darkest corners, it actually tends to lurk in all of the familiar places. 

Today’s Topic …

Addiction

A few words from Brene:

“Statistics dictate that there are very few people who haven’t been affected by addiction.  We may not do it compulsively and chronically, which is addiction, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t numb our sense of vulnerability.”

So what are we numbing?  Brene says “Americans today are more debt-ridden, obese, medicated, and addicted than we ever have been.”  

We fear disconnection and we have anxiety around the shame of feeling inadequate.  We feel we are “less-than” we should be, whatever that means.

Addiction is no longer reserved for drug users and alcohol consumers. 

Brene stresses time and again that in order to stop the shame cycle at any level we have to avoid the isolation mindset.  Isolation promotes the symptoms of shame and sends us into a tailspin. 

Shame grows in isolation.  Shame loves the dark.  Brene says “We can’t selectively numb emotion.  Numb the dark and you numb the light.”

And if you numb the light as well, where is the escape route out of shame?

This is a tough subject.  If you are a person suffering from the shame of an addiction, here are the simple steps that begin the journey.  They are steps that probably need to be taken with wise counsel.  You MUST seek quality professional counsel to walk away from your addiction. 

Again, Brene speaks:

“When I interviewed the research participants, whom I’d describe as living a Wholehearted life, about numbing, they consistently talked about three things:
1. Learning how to actually feel their feelings.
2. Staying mindful about numbing behaviors (they struggled too).
3. Learning how to lean into the discomfort of hard emotions.” 

As you can see, there are no easy answers to any of these shame categories we are covering in this series.  We always end up at the same place – seek therapy, seek counsel. 

May it be so.

Order Daring Greatly HERE

P Michael Biggs

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