Be Happy

Regret #5:  Be Happy

This is a five-part series based on The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, Bronnie Ware

Are you happy? 

Do you enjoy life? 

Did you enjoy your life in your younger years?

Why or why not? 

Regret #5:

I wish I had let myself be happier.

How does one “become happier”?

The significant idea is to live each moment by being present and focused on what is happening in that particular time and place. 

I’ve had to learn this one, thanks to Carolyn’s help.  We are so aware of the precious moments we share together.  We savor them, acknowledge them, and enjoy them.

We are happy.

What’s the formula for being happy?

Do fun stuff that you and your partner both enjoy.

Be present – in the moment for those special times.

Plan special dates with your loved one.

Sometimes, do the unexpected and visit the unexpected places.

Savor the experience. 

Reminisce and relive the experience.

That’s what we do.  We take lots of pictures and we look at them and play “remember when” and relive those special times. 

We are happy.

We love our life together.

We look for ways to enhance our “happy” times together.

Happiness is not …

   -Wearing happy pants

   -Going to happy places

   -Wearing a happy hat

   -Eating happy food

Happiness is a choice. 

P Michael Biggs

Offering Up-Moments

One Moment at a Time

Keep in Touch

Regret #4:  Keep in Touch

This is a five-part series based on The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, Bronnie Ware

Have you ever met someone and had the magic of friendship happen instantly?  What a nice moment that is, and if you are able to sustain the friendship, you have something of substance that stands you in good stead for life. 

And then you lose touch.  That is a real tragedy. 

Regret #4 is this:

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

There is no magic formula for this idea.  We just have to find the time and the avenues available to us for maintaining friendships that are significant to us. 

Here are eight ways to keep in touch, or get back in touch with someone who was at one time a significant friend in our lives.

US Mail – cards and letters

Email

Fax

Phone

Skype

Text messaging

Chat lines

Video conferencing

The manner matters not, it’s the doing that counts.

P Michael Biggs

Offering Up-Moments

One Moment at a Time

Expressed Feelings

Regret #3:  Expressed Feelings

This is a five-part series based on The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, Bronnie Ware

When words are left unexpressed, often they become the ones that sting the most in life.  Recently I've read a few accounts of individuals coming to their end with unexpressed feelings and what a burden and loss it is for those left behind. 

Sometimes it takes courage to say the words, but say them we must. 

Regret #3: 

I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings

Somewhere deep within us we must find the courage to say the words that matter the most in our key relationships.  Those heart-words are so vitally important and we must find them and use them. 

I was 19 years old before I ever remember hearing or uttering the words “I love you” with my parents.  It’s good to sort-of know one is loved, but it is absolutely imperative to express that phrase. 

What feelings do you need to express to someone today?  Find the time, find the words, and find the guts to say the words that will last a lifetime.

P Michael Biggs

Offering Up-Moments

One Moment at a Time

I Worked Too Hard

This is a five-part series based on The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, Bronnie Ware

All of our lives we are taught that hard work is a good thing, and we will be so proud of ourselves if we give our best effort, if we’re the first one in and the last one out, and if we give 110% effort. 

And when it’s all over, look what you sometimes have. 

Regrets!

You missed a few games and band concerts of your budding star,

          but you gave it your all at the office.

You missed a few anniversary dinners,

          but you gave it your all at the office.

Your health is failing from all those long hours, long flights and long weekends,

          but you gave it your all at the office.

And on and on …

Regret #2 is this:

I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

From today forward, this I resolve:

To see more sunsets

To see more sunrises

To take more vacation time

To eat more ice cream

To appreciate the small moments

To love and express love at every opportunity

Life is a fleeting thing.  We have these few years on earth, and then …

Live your life and reach your end with abundant energy, great memories, exceptional health and no regrets.

Order "Top Five Regrets" HERE

P Michael Biggs

Offering Up-Moments

One Moment at a Time

True to Myself

Regret #1:  A Life True to Myself

January 22, 2013

This is a five-part series based on The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, Bronnie Ware

Who are you and what do you want out of life?  Are you following your own heartbeat, or is someone else dictating your direction and your destiny? 

In her book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, Bronnie Ware begins with this:

Regret #1:

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 

To know one’s passions and then to act on those passions is the greatest of all journeys.  People around us are standing in line to tell us what to do, where to go, how to act, and how to dress – but is it our way? 

We are individuals, and we have a creator who has instilled inside of us unique gifts, abilities, inclinations and destinies.  At birth, they are nothing more than seedlings.  But as we grow, we gravitate toward those ideas and areas that best fit us. 

The joy of discovering and then pursuing our best life ever is what this thought is all about.  What a tragedy when we allow others to dictate our destiny which takes us down a path that is away from our true nature and inclinations.

When we come to our end, I hope we can look back over the landscape and declare “I had the courage to life a life true to myself and my own calling.” 

That is a successful life without regrets.

Order "Top Five Regrets" - Click Here

P Michael Biggs

Offering Up-Moments

One Moment at a Time

The Teacher

Allow me to borrow a line from the movie The Emperor’s Club starring Kevin Kline, who plays the role of a teacher at an all-boys school.  As the character Mr. Hundert, he is given a plaque that contains this phrase.

His life goes over into other lives.

Teachers come in all sizes, varieties and genders.  Teachers teach, whether they are university professors or parents, TV personalities or T-ball coaches.  Teachers influence, and sometimes that influence lasts a lifetime.

So, what are we teaching?  We are being watched.  In every encounter other eyes are watching.  What do they see?

Recently, we were having breakfast with Eliot and Adia – two of our grand-kids.  As is my habit I picked up two packets of sweetener and added them to my morning coffee.  I always shake the packets so that the contents will settle more to the bottom and not spill out when I tear the top off.

Eliot, age three, picked up two packets of sugar and shook them just as he had seen me do.  I became the teacher and he the student. 

What else am I teaching him?

Good question for all of us?

We teach.  They watch.

P Michael Biggs

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time

Aim Carefully

Aim Carefully

Someone posted a document once titled Twenty Things a Mom Should Tell her Son.  Item #3 is “Use careful aim when you pee.  Somebody has to clean it up, you know.”

So true.  And not just for bathroom habits.

-Ever had a relationship go south?  Somebody along the way lost their aim.

-Ever lost a job?  Aim is the culprit.

-Ever made a dumb mistake?  Probably a result of a bad aim.

And the final word of advice from Mom – “Somebody has to clean it up.”

Every bad aim in life has to be dealt with by someone - either you or those who follow after. 

A careful aim is a useful axiom for all of life, wouldn't you say?

It matters.

P Michael Biggs

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time

Shame vs. Guilt

Based on Daring Greatly

by Brene Brown

We need to focus on a couple of psychological terms for a moment – Shame and Guilt.

Shame says “I am bad.”

Guilt says “I did something bad.”

See the difference?  We beat ourselves up with a shame mindset.

Brene says this:  “I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging

“I don't believe shame is helpful or productive. In fact, I think shame is much more likely to be the source of destructive, hurtful behavior than the solution or cure. I think the fear of disconnection can make us dangerous.”

I really want to help you understand this important distinction if you are one who suffers at the hands of shame. 

It is the rare individual who never does anything bad.  However, doing something bad and being bad are two completely different issues. 

See the difference?

Brene continues:

 “Shame is the swamp land of the soul.  Shame is the gremlin who says

‘You are not good enough.’

‘I know things that happened to you growing up.’”

Silence the gremlin.  Stop the shame.  Hold onto a loftier image of YOU.  You may have done something bad, but you are not bad.

Take a step toward believing in you!

 

P Michael Biggs

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time

Order Daring Greatly - Click Here 

A New Day

I love fresh starts – new beginnings.

"Each day is a new life. Seize it. Live it."

~ David Guy Powers

That perfectly sums up my thoughts.

I am facing three glorious days with no agenda but the one I chose.  I can write, sleep, read, and reflect, or any other activity in which I want to engage.  What a grand gift.  

And every day, when you awaken, you are granted another golden opportunity to go and do and learn and become. 

Seize the moment!

P Michael Biggs

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time

The Best

Sometimes we buy the best, but we don’t perform at our best with that ‘thing’ we call the best. 

Another way of saying that is this:

The best doesn't make you the best.

The straightest arrow does not always hit the bull’s eye.

The best computer does not always get your book published.

The best foods don’t translate into a perfect body.

The extra ingredient is us!

What we do.

How we discipline ourselves.

How we practice, work, think, learn, re-learn, observe, and the focus on the thing we are aiming for. 

The best is a myth until we do OUR best.  The best tools, accessories, etc. only jump-start us toward our goal. 

Wanna be the best?

Do the hard work.

Do the thinking.

Do the practicing.

Do your best work, and then watch your best unfold.

P Michael Biggs

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time

The Currency of Trust

There is a new currency in town.  TRUST!

We deal in it every day.  We build our reserve of trust with every word, every action, and every encounter. 

Are we deemed trustworthy?  Do people think of us as a safe person or company?

We trust banks and financial gurus, or not.

We trust our spouse in our relationship, or not.

We trust our spiritual leaders, or not.

Name any entity, any organization or retail establishment and that institution depends greatly on the currency of trust.  They need trust from employees, customers, clients, attendees – they need trust from anyone who chooses to enter into any kind of relationship with them. 

Wouldn’t it be grand if you could buy a whole bucket load of trust at Costco?

Rather, we earn it the old fashioned way – one word, one encounter, one transaction at a time.  People must judge us as trustworthy before they will give us their business, their attention or anything else we seek from them.

Remember this:

Trust is …

  Consistency of actions

    Dependability

      Honesty

Trust is …

  Reliability

    Responsibility

      Follow-through

Trust is …

  Truthfulness

    Integrity

      Respect

Become known as The Trusted One!

P Michael Biggs

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time

A Positive Word about Failure

A Positive Word about Failure

January 6, 2013

This is important so listen up. 

Failure does not make you a failure. 

Failure, even glaring and global blunders do not make us a failure. 

After a failure – remember this:

Pick yourself up

Dust yourself off

And start all over again

-Remember, Babe Ruth was the strike-out king AND the homerun king.

-Lincoln lost numerous bids for political offices before become our 16^th President.

-The Post-it note was a mistake that sold millions.

-The ice cream cone was created after a waffle vendor ran out of paper plates.

Failure does not make you a failure!

Click here to view Learning After a Failure

P Michael Biggs

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time

Inspire Me

Ralph Waldo Emerson said: 

“Our chief want is someone who will

inspire us to be what we know we could be.”

At times, we simply need a nudge, a gentle suggestion, a word of encouragement to jump-start us in a direction we have always wanted to go. 

This is a two-way street.  First, we seek those outside motivators for our own lives, and then we have the privilege of becoming that source, that spark for someone else.  What a kick.

Some people simply need to be told

“You can do it.”

Simple to say.  More difficult to believe. 

That’s why others sometimes need your eyes (insight) and your words of esteem and encouragement. 

Thinking about something is well and good, but the courage to put actions to thoughts is sometimes scary.  We feel vulnerable.  We fear failure.  We fear being made to look the fool.  We fear being shamed.

That is when you and I come in through the door. 

We jump-start. 

   We spark. 

      We ignite. 

         We push. 

            We encourage. 

We believe in them and paint pictures

of what they might become.

Paint some pictures.

Inspire someone today!

P Michael Biggs

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time

Our Deepest Hunger

The deepest hunger of the human soul is to be understood.  Don’t we love it when people “get” us and our ideas?  That is a soul satisfying experience. 

We want to be understood. 

Negotiators know that.

Criminologists know that.

Ministers know it, along with sales clerks, and purchasers of our goods and services. 

Wives know it, and husbands had better understand it.

We want to be understood. 

So how come there is so much misunderstanding in this world?

Perhaps we need to get back to some fundamental listening skills. 

-Focus on what is being said, not on your response.

-Put away iPhones, iPods, iPads, and all other iGadgets and give focused attention on the one deserving of your attention. 

-Look and listen.  Use eye contact and give clues that indicate that you hear and understand. 

-And if it is appropriate, do a rephrase of what you heard and what you understand. 

To understand and be understood – that is very good indeed.  It is one of those critical life-skills.

Click HERE for the podcast version

P Michael Biggs

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time