For those of us in the people business, we always say more than we think we are say.
There is a vast amount of material on the market today that deals with non-verbal communication (often called body language). I just finished the book You Say More than You Think by Janine Driver. Here are some highlights from this 229-page powerhouse book.
Key Principle – Total Communication
--50% of what we communicate with others is nonverbal.
-- When we focus simply on the trees, instead of taking the time to slow down our judgments and look at the entire forest, we can miss valuable information. This is a phenomenon called inattentive blindness, also known as perceptual blindness, and it’s related to how our minds see and process information.
Key Principle -- First Impressions
The first thirty seconds may be all you have to make a good impression.
Within the first seven seconds of meeting someone, he/she has already formed the first impression of you. This “primacy effect” dictates whether or not the person will trust you.
Key Principle -- The Belly Button Principle
Our belly buttons speak volumes about what we think and feel and especially where we do and do not want to be.
The direction of the torso determines a person’s level of interest.
Belly button direction is the most important aspect of reading a person’s intention.
The direction of our belly button reflects our attitude and reveals our emotional state.
When we suddenly turn our navel toward a door or an exit or simply away from someone, we subconsciously send the signal that we want out of the conversation and perhaps even out of the interaction.
Let’s take a tip from former president Bill Clinton. When President Clinton greets someone, he points his belly button to the one he is greeting, smiles, and gives them a great handshake... After he lets go of the individual’s hand and moves to the next person, he keeps eye contact on the first person for an extra second as if to say, “I hate to let you go.”
What an important people skill.
When people angle their belly button away from you, they are communicating one of several possibilities:
-I don’t like you, trust you
-I want out of here
-I’m hiding something
Key Principle – The Feet
This is tied to the belly-button principle. A person’s feet always point in the direction of where their body wants to go. For sales people, make sure and position your feet toward your prospect, face to face, in a direct line. Watch your prospects feet. Are they with you or headed for the door? This is worth noting, and then figure out what to do to re-engage your prospect.
OK, that’s enough for today. You need to read the book to discover what Janine means when she refers to your “naughty bits” and the fig leaf cover-up, and there is some other great material that is worth knowing.
Hope you are intrigued. It really is a terrific book and one I highly recommend if you really want to understand all of the ways in which you and I communicate.
After all, I can see what you are saying.
Key Principle – Total Communication
--50% of what we communicate with others is nonverbal.
-- When we focus simply on the trees, instead of taking the time to slow down our judgments and look at the entire forest, we can miss valuable information. This is a phenomenon called inattentive blindness, also known as perceptual blindness, and it’s related to how our minds see and process information.
Key Principle -- First Impressions
The first thirty seconds may be all you have to make a good impression.
Within the first seven seconds of meeting someone, he/she has already formed the first impression of you. This “primacy effect” dictates whether or not the person will trust you.
Key Principle -- The Belly Button Principle
Our belly buttons speak volumes about what we think and feel and especially where we do and do not want to be.
The direction of the torso determines a person’s level of interest.
Belly button direction is the most important aspect of reading a person’s intention.
The direction of our belly button reflects our attitude and reveals our emotional state.
When we suddenly turn our navel toward a door or an exit or simply away from someone, we subconsciously send the signal that we want out of the conversation and perhaps even out of the interaction.
What an important people skill.
When people angle their belly button away from you, they are communicating one of several possibilities:
-I don’t like you, trust you
-I want out of here
-I’m hiding something
Key Principle – The Feet
This is tied to the belly-button principle. A person’s feet always point in the direction of where their body wants to go. For sales people, make sure and position your feet toward your prospect, face to face, in a direct line. Watch your prospects feet. Are they with you or headed for the door? This is worth noting, and then figure out what to do to re-engage your prospect.
OK, that’s enough for today. You need to read the book to discover what Janine means when she refers to your “naughty bits” and the fig leaf cover-up, and there is some other great material that is worth knowing.
Hope you are intrigued. It really is a terrific book and one I highly recommend if you really want to understand all of the ways in which you and I communicate.
After all, I can see what you are saying.
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