Can I or Can't I?

Your
direction
is
determined

by the set of your sails.






Some ships head east, yet others head west, all from the same wind. The wind doesn’t decide to blow one ship in one direction and the other in the other. The captain of the ship determines in which direction he is going to go.

Same is true for you and for me as well.

Think of the sails as thoughts in your life. Are you harboring good thoughts? Are they steering you in the direction in which you want to go?

“If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don’t,
If you like to win, but you think you can’t,
It is almost certain you won’t.

“If you think you’ll lose, you’ve lost
For out of the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow’s will –
It’s all in the state of mind.

“If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You’ve got to think high to rise,
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

“Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late,
The man who wins
Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!”

(Walter D. Wintle - late 19th early 20th Century)

Sometimes, conquering is a matter of breaking down a task into smaller, simpler parts. Master those one at a time, slowly, successfully.  Then weave them together with the bigger puzzle pieces, the bigger picture, increase your speed, assure your accuracy, and in no time you have climbed on top of that massive goal.

Could you read War and Peace in the first grade?

As a ten year old, could you lift 200 lbs. over your head?

Probably not. But in time, bit by bit, you grew in strength and understanding and with consistency and purpose you soon developed the mental skills and physical prowess to read a large volume or lift a large weight.

There are a few terms that are tossed about in a lot of goal setting and self-development books that speak to what we are talking about.
-Definite Chief Aim
-Desire
-Goal
-Purpose
-Dreams

The winds may be blowing in my face, yet by properly setting my sails, I can head into the winds and make progress, though the winds of adversity blow toward me.

It’s all in the set of your sails. How is your sail set? How securely is your mind fixed on your objective, dream, goal?

The Bible offers this thought.

“As a man thinks, so is he.”

Dozens of thought leaders, philosophers and gurus have said the same thing in other ways.
“You become what you think about.”
“If you think you can, you can.”
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.”

I don’t know where you want to go, but I do know that if you set your course, determine where you want to be, give yourself a timeline, and do daily actions to move yourself along toward your goals, you will sooner or later reach your destination.


Determination

     Desire

Action

Pretty simple, right?

On paper, yes. Carrying through? That is up to you.


All I know is this …

Start where you are

to get to where

you want to go.

And begin today, whether you are ready or not.

Let’s go for a sail!

The Power of Words

With appreciation to John C. Maxwell and his book Be a People Person, we find this great insight.

“The least important word: I.
“The most important word: We.
“The two most important words: Thank You.
“The three most important words: All is forgiven.
“The four most important words: What is your opinion?
“The five most important words: You did a good job.
“The six most important words: I want to know you better.

Let’s spend some time on these phrases.

I
Do people really care about what I think?

We
Denotes teamwork, companionship, joint effort, pulling together. Don’t you love it when your team says these things?
Look what we did!
What can we do?
Where will we be in the future?

Thank You
Sometimes this is the most under-used word in everyday conversations. We have the opportunity to say “Thank You” perhaps a dozen times every day. Do we?

All Is Forgiven
These are perhaps some of the most healing words one can hear.

Earnest Hemingway, in his short story The Capital of the World, tells the story about a father and his teenage son who lived in Spain. Their relationship became strained, shattered and the son ran away from home.

“Soon the father began a long journey in search of his son, finally putting an ad in the Madrid newspaper as a last resort. His son’s name was Paco, a very common name in Spain. The ad simply read: “Dear Paco, meet me in front of the Madrid newspaper office tomorrow at noon. All is forgiven. I love you.” As Hemingway writes, the next day at noon in front of the newspaper office there were 800 “Pacos” all seeking forgiveness.”

What Is Your Opinion?
This phrase speaks of openness and that you want to include others in forming opinions and policies.

You Did a Good Job!
Don’t you just love an appropriately placed word? There are few five-word phrases that work as effectively as “You did a good job!”

I Want to Know You Better.
We are social human beings. We form groups, join clubs, all with the purpose of expanding our social network. When I get to know you better, you enrich my life and hopefully I will add value to yours as well.

Well, there you have it. Six word phrases that make a difference in our relating to other human beings.

Come, let us sit

for a while

and become friends.

Laugh

I love to laugh! Some wise person has said “laughter is like jogging on the inside.”


Laughter is contagious. When I hear someone giving a genuine full-bodied laugh it often makes me want to laugh as well.

When my step-daughter, Ashley, was little, she had the most infectious giggle. She was full of life and laughter and she was going to enjoy every minute life had to offer. Her giggles made me giggle.

Ava and Grey

My granddaughter Ava is the same way. When she is with her cousins you can hear her above all of the others, laughing and giggling and having the time of her life. She lets it all out. I love that about her.

When my siblings are able to get together, we always end up telling family stories, laughing and reminiscing and enjoying our family history.

I’ve seen a rather large painting of the Christ figure throwing his head back and laughing a good old belly laugh. Can you imagine that happening?

I can.

God has more of a sense of humor than we might allow him, don’t you think?

Carolyn and I have enjoyed some amazing sunsets this spring and summer particularly. During and after every one of them we marvel at the beauty and majesty of this world of ours and savor the moments we can share together watching the sun go down.

Seems at times I can hear God chuckling to himself as he watches us enjoy his handiwork.

I think God goes around laughing at my newest grandson Eliot. That boy is the picture of life and joy, smiles and laughter. Just look at the expression on his face? You gotta love that about him. He doesn’t have a care in the world, except scooting that wheeled cart across the floor, learning to walk, gaining new feet and wings and loving life at top speed.

I think God laughed the other day as I was holding Carolyn’s hand. We were going nowhere in particular, just enjoying our day together, holding hands, being in each other’s presence and enjoying the moment. I’m pretty sure I heard a guffaw come from somewhere up there.

Have you heard God laugh with you? Have you ever felt His delight just because you exist? He never mocks us – oh no. He simply delights in us. He delights in what delights us.

I seem to collect friends who also enjoy a good chuckle or a snort. When my long-time friend Brenda and I get together on rare occasions we end up laughing at the silliest things. We’re just being ourselves, expanding our friendship one more notch, and loving whatever our curious minds find to laugh about.

I have two close college friends and if you mention the words “milk donuts” you will throw the three of us into spasms of giggles and hooting and hollering.

So, laugh more. Giggle – out loud. Snicker occasionally. Hoot if you want to. Snort and cackle and especially chortle.

It’s good for you.

Are You Going to Give Up or Get Up?

What an awakening question. Everyone has ‘things’ that come along and knock us off our rocker. The real question is “Are you going to give up or get up?”

In December of 1980 I awakened to discover that a third of my back yard was missing. It had washed down into the ravine behind my home here in Seattle. I had no clue at that moment as to what to do. I wondered if my home was safe from sliding off into the same ravine, however, the bigger question was, “what do I do next and how much will it cost?” Of course I wanted to bury my head in the pillows and not surface for a few months, but I had to face reality. I chose to “get up” and do what I could to remedy my situation.

Here are some solutions for us to use when the wind gets knocked out of our sails.
1. Get a right perspective. What actually happened? What can you do about it? What will it cost to correct the situation? What is beyond your control?

2. Seek out the right people. Who can help you? Who will give you good advice? Who can point you in the right direction? Who do you trust?

3. Plot out a reasonable time line. “Reasonable” is the key word here. How long do you realistically think it will take to correct your dilemma?

4. What can I possibly learn from this situation? There are lessons in everything in life. We need to assess and process to help us gain a new perspective.

5. Remember, this too shall pass.

In the September 2010 issue of Success Magazine, John Maxwell said “It may not be your fault for being down, but it is your fault for not getting up.”

So, it’s time to respond.

Are You Going to Give Up or Get Up?

Real Wealth

What is your real wealth? Is it a dollar figure that you now possess, or hope to possess? Is it a particular possession that you have or you hope to have some day?

I just reviewed my notes on the book Three Feet from Gold by Sharon L. Lechter & Greg S. Reid.  This quote at the beginning of Chapter 22 grabbed my attention today.

“Remember that your real wealth

can be measured not by what you have,

but by what you are.”

So, what are you? What am I?

When I come to the end of my life, I hope these things can be found in the remains of what I leave behind.

P Michael Biggs was …

A loving man

An honorable man

A trustworthy man

A man of integrity

A man of morals

A man of truth

A good friend to many

An encouraging man

I have “stuff” in my life. I own two automobiles, I have enough cloths, we have plenty of food, I have a modest library and even a Kindle, we've taken a cruise, we’ve visited some lovely places on vacation. But all of this is just stuff to fill up our lives.

What am I at my core, my base self? What are you?

Today, I’m speaking to mankind, whether we are sales people, factory workers, mountain climbers, musicians, housewives, mothers, daughters, sons, fathers, or retired.

May we be found to be people of substance and worth just because we are human beings. Our legacy matters more than money, accomplishments, sales quotas, and awards.

What am I? I hope people find me to be an authentic human being!

Non-Verbal Communication (The Buzz-Word for Body Languge)

How you look overpowers what you say by a factor of eight!

Here are the facts.
Communication is …
7% Words
38% Tone
55% Body language

Most individuals use some 700,000 signals that they give off in day-to-day human interactions, and approximately 250 facial expressions. We are constantly giving and receiving verbal and non-verbal communication in every conversation, passing glance, brief smile and nod of our heads to another human being. Everything we do, from the way we sit, the amount of eye contact we use and even how loudly we speak all send verbal and non-verbal signals about us and our feelings. Our non-verbal signals produce either a sense of trust and interest in connecting with another person or they generate disinterest, distrust and fear.

Eye Contact: Look people in the eye. Avoid prolonged stares and glares, but give a solid look in the eyes for 2-3 seconds, break away and be sure and include every person in the party with whom you are speaking.

Be aware of your own eyes when engaging someone in conversation. Experts in body language and non-verbal expressions are in agreement that when a person visually recalls something, they look up and to the left. When they make up an answer or lie, they look up and to the right.

Hand Shake: If this is appropriate and acceptable in your work, attempt to keep the hand shake up-right. If you tilt the handshake to the left so that your hand is on top this is considered a power play in your favor. If the handshake is tilted to the right so that the other person’s hand is on top this is a power play in their favor. Avoid one-up-man-ship in something as simple as a handshake.

Body Stance: Be sure and use an open body stance, especially when speaking to more than one person. Include everyone in the group by facing them all. When I speak to a husband or wife, I make sure and position my body equally facing them both. So often I see sales people favor one person over the other in a two-person encounter.

Notice the position of your client’s feet when they are speaking with you. There is an axiom in studying body language that says “The feet point to where the body wants to go.” If you are engaged in conversation with a customer, yet their feet point away from you, there is a good chance that you don’t have their full attention and you need to re-establish control so that you can properly help your customer.

Body language speaks louder than words.

Success to you in your pursuits!

Reality

I once had it said to me, “You’re an accident waiting to happen.” Ouch. That hurt. I could have chosen to dwell on that comment and let it color the rest of my life, but at some point I made the conscious choice to move beyond those words and realize the reality that I was and am better than that comment and I wasn’t going to give it a foothold in my life any longer.

Les Brown, internationally recognized motivational speaker, once said, “Someone’s opinion of you does not have to be your reality.”

Thank God this is true.

But how often do we ruminate on past words that someone has offered in judgment on our lives and we have accepted those words as truth?

We don’t have to look very far to find people who will rain on our parade. Parents, siblings, in-laws, co-workers, and so many others sometimes seem willing and ready to take aim at our lives, our conduct, and our situations and offer judgments, pronouncements and opinions of what is wrong and what to do to fix our situation.

But what is the truth?

What is reality?

Maybe you have failed.
The reality is that you are not a failure.

Maybe you have made a mistake.
The reality is that your whole life is not a mistake.

Maybe you have had one or two bad relationships.
The reality is that you are still capable of reinventing your relationships, improving them and learning from your past mistakes.

Maybe you have been miscast into a job that didn’t show your best skill set.
The reality is that there is a job, a work that is perfectly suited for you. Go find it.

From this day forward…
-I will live an examined life.
-I will take counsel with those who have my best interest at heart.
-I will evaluate and improve my life every day.
-I will learn from every situation.
-I will read books that will enlarge me.
-I will learn the difference between reality and the opinion of others.

From this day forward, I will live the best “me” that I can. I will accept my good points, improve my weak points, and live my own reality.