Are You Going to Give Up or Get Up?

What an awakening question. Everyone has ‘things’ that come along and knock us off our rocker. The real question is “Are you going to give up or get up?”

In December of 1980 I awakened to discover that a third of my back yard was missing. It had washed down into the ravine behind my home here in Seattle. I had no clue at that moment as to what to do. I wondered if my home was safe from sliding off into the same ravine, however, the bigger question was, “what do I do next and how much will it cost?” Of course I wanted to bury my head in the pillows and not surface for a few months, but I had to face reality. I chose to “get up” and do what I could to remedy my situation.

Here are some solutions for us to use when the wind gets knocked out of our sails.
1. Get a right perspective. What actually happened? What can you do about it? What will it cost to correct the situation? What is beyond your control?

2. Seek out the right people. Who can help you? Who will give you good advice? Who can point you in the right direction? Who do you trust?

3. Plot out a reasonable time line. “Reasonable” is the key word here. How long do you realistically think it will take to correct your dilemma?

4. What can I possibly learn from this situation? There are lessons in everything in life. We need to assess and process to help us gain a new perspective.

5. Remember, this too shall pass.

In the September 2010 issue of Success Magazine, John Maxwell said “It may not be your fault for being down, but it is your fault for not getting up.”

So, it’s time to respond.

Are You Going to Give Up or Get Up?

Real Wealth

What is your real wealth? Is it a dollar figure that you now possess, or hope to possess? Is it a particular possession that you have or you hope to have some day?

I just reviewed my notes on the book Three Feet from Gold by Sharon L. Lechter & Greg S. Reid.  This quote at the beginning of Chapter 22 grabbed my attention today.

“Remember that your real wealth

can be measured not by what you have,

but by what you are.”

So, what are you? What am I?

When I come to the end of my life, I hope these things can be found in the remains of what I leave behind.

P Michael Biggs was …

A loving man

An honorable man

A trustworthy man

A man of integrity

A man of morals

A man of truth

A good friend to many

An encouraging man

I have “stuff” in my life. I own two automobiles, I have enough cloths, we have plenty of food, I have a modest library and even a Kindle, we've taken a cruise, we’ve visited some lovely places on vacation. But all of this is just stuff to fill up our lives.

What am I at my core, my base self? What are you?

Today, I’m speaking to mankind, whether we are sales people, factory workers, mountain climbers, musicians, housewives, mothers, daughters, sons, fathers, or retired.

May we be found to be people of substance and worth just because we are human beings. Our legacy matters more than money, accomplishments, sales quotas, and awards.

What am I? I hope people find me to be an authentic human being!

Non-Verbal Communication (The Buzz-Word for Body Languge)

How you look overpowers what you say by a factor of eight!

Here are the facts.
Communication is …
7% Words
38% Tone
55% Body language

Most individuals use some 700,000 signals that they give off in day-to-day human interactions, and approximately 250 facial expressions. We are constantly giving and receiving verbal and non-verbal communication in every conversation, passing glance, brief smile and nod of our heads to another human being. Everything we do, from the way we sit, the amount of eye contact we use and even how loudly we speak all send verbal and non-verbal signals about us and our feelings. Our non-verbal signals produce either a sense of trust and interest in connecting with another person or they generate disinterest, distrust and fear.

Eye Contact: Look people in the eye. Avoid prolonged stares and glares, but give a solid look in the eyes for 2-3 seconds, break away and be sure and include every person in the party with whom you are speaking.

Be aware of your own eyes when engaging someone in conversation. Experts in body language and non-verbal expressions are in agreement that when a person visually recalls something, they look up and to the left. When they make up an answer or lie, they look up and to the right.

Hand Shake: If this is appropriate and acceptable in your work, attempt to keep the hand shake up-right. If you tilt the handshake to the left so that your hand is on top this is considered a power play in your favor. If the handshake is tilted to the right so that the other person’s hand is on top this is a power play in their favor. Avoid one-up-man-ship in something as simple as a handshake.

Body Stance: Be sure and use an open body stance, especially when speaking to more than one person. Include everyone in the group by facing them all. When I speak to a husband or wife, I make sure and position my body equally facing them both. So often I see sales people favor one person over the other in a two-person encounter.

Notice the position of your client’s feet when they are speaking with you. There is an axiom in studying body language that says “The feet point to where the body wants to go.” If you are engaged in conversation with a customer, yet their feet point away from you, there is a good chance that you don’t have their full attention and you need to re-establish control so that you can properly help your customer.

Body language speaks louder than words.

Success to you in your pursuits!

Reality

I once had it said to me, “You’re an accident waiting to happen.” Ouch. That hurt. I could have chosen to dwell on that comment and let it color the rest of my life, but at some point I made the conscious choice to move beyond those words and realize the reality that I was and am better than that comment and I wasn’t going to give it a foothold in my life any longer.

Les Brown, internationally recognized motivational speaker, once said, “Someone’s opinion of you does not have to be your reality.”

Thank God this is true.

But how often do we ruminate on past words that someone has offered in judgment on our lives and we have accepted those words as truth?

We don’t have to look very far to find people who will rain on our parade. Parents, siblings, in-laws, co-workers, and so many others sometimes seem willing and ready to take aim at our lives, our conduct, and our situations and offer judgments, pronouncements and opinions of what is wrong and what to do to fix our situation.

But what is the truth?

What is reality?

Maybe you have failed.
The reality is that you are not a failure.

Maybe you have made a mistake.
The reality is that your whole life is not a mistake.

Maybe you have had one or two bad relationships.
The reality is that you are still capable of reinventing your relationships, improving them and learning from your past mistakes.

Maybe you have been miscast into a job that didn’t show your best skill set.
The reality is that there is a job, a work that is perfectly suited for you. Go find it.

From this day forward…
-I will live an examined life.
-I will take counsel with those who have my best interest at heart.
-I will evaluate and improve my life every day.
-I will learn from every situation.
-I will read books that will enlarge me.
-I will learn the difference between reality and the opinion of others.

From this day forward, I will live the best “me” that I can. I will accept my good points, improve my weak points, and live my own reality.

Believe In Yourself

Many of us in sales have a constant struggle when it comes to attitude and belief, especially in our attitudes towards ourselves. We need reinforcement, whether it is from our sales manager or boss, books, motivational recordings, spouse or friend.

The book Three Feet from Gold has this pertinent little aphorism that we need to be reminded of from time to time:

People doubt their beliefs,
But believe their doubts.
Believe in yourself,
And the world will believe in you.
(Page 124, Three Feet from Gold)

So, how much do you believe in yourself?

There is a funny Shoe comic strip that relates to what we are speaking of here.

Shoe, the crusty old newspaper editor is pitching in a baseball game and his team is behind. The catcher comes out to the pitcher’s mound to have a chat with Shoe. The catcher says, “You just need to have a little faith in yourself and your curve ball.”

As the catcher returns to his position, Shoe mutters to himself. “That’s easy for you to say. When it comes to believing in myself I’m an agnostic.”

That’s the secret, though, isn’t it? Believe in yourself.

Brian Tracy loves to say and write these motivating words. "I like myself. I really like myself.”

I use the phrase “I approve of myself.”

What works for you? What do you want to believe about yourself?

It’s all in the state of mind.

Believe in yourself,
And the world will believe in you.

Try it today, on your next sales call.

I can do this!
I am capable!
I know my stuff!
I believe in ME!

The Smile Says It All

There is an old saying that goes like this: “To have a friend, be a friend.” Your demeanor, your smile, your dress, your speech patterns all meld together in creating the composite of who you are and how you are perceived. Most experts agree that we have somewhere between 30 seconds and two minutes to make a good first impression. Here are some tips for increasing your friendliness factor and making that great first impression on everyone with whom you come into contact.

Try this experiment tomorrow in your work place or wherever you interact with people. Smile! Smile at the people on your elevator, smile at your wife and kids, smile at the bus driver, smile at your boss, smile at your co-workers, and along with the smile offer a more cheerful verbal greeting.

I had the privilege of assisting a couple recently in my retail store. The husband was a nice enough man. He arrived twenty minutes before his wife. I attempted to help him, but he quickly told me he really needed to wait for his wife to arrive.

Wow! I was overwhelmed by her radiant smile when she came in. The first thing she did was smile a most dazzlingly beautiful smile and then she put out her hand, called me by name (which she got from my name badge) and said, “Hi, I’m Barbara. Thanks for helping us find the perfect mattress.”

Most customers I encounter avoid looking at me directly in the early stages of our interaction and I almost never get a smile of any kind. It becomes a game with me to see how quickly I can earn their trust and get them to like me, trust me, smile at me and open up to me.

So, our point for today is a simple one. SMILE! The smile on your face declares to the world that a caring, open individual lives inside of that smile and is so eager to help with what concerns you most today.

The Importance of a Mentor

I heard Harvey McKay say once that he had perhaps over a dozen mentors. Can you imagine that?

I have had and currently have a few mentors in my life as well. Allow me to tell you about some of my mentors.
Jim Tharp taught me spiritual direction, discernment and some key fundamentals in helping form my God concept and my religious beliefs as they exist today.
Jim VanHook taught me the art of loving people and instilled in me the philosophy of “love the people.”
Denis Waitley helped me with my understanding of people and motivational aspects about the workings of the mind.
N Hill taught me about dreaming, planning and desiring in a good healthy way and then developing a plan for the accomplishment of such dreams and hopes.
Kevin Hall taught me the importance of words and their root meaning and how a life-word can help define one’s life.

I could name a few others mentors, but I believe you get the point.

Mentors can add tremendous value to your life and in helping you form your foundation, your sense of direction and some fundamental skills that will stand you in good stead for years to come.

I’ve had the privilege of mentoring a few people during my lifetime. I simply have passed on the key principles I’ve gathered from a lifetime of living and learning.

I believe a mentor has a right to be vulnerable to their mentee. He or she needs a taste of real-life work situations and you can best facilitate that by sharing a reasonable amount of the good and the bad. When I faced a crisis, I shared enough of the situation with them to give them a feel of the agony and processes I had to go through. My philosophy of mentoring is that mentoring is a finishing school, a continuing education opportunity and the more real-time experiences one can have the better rounded their lives will be.

Let’s examine the role of the mentor. It begs the question, “What is a mentor?”

A mentor is a guide, teacher, sculptor, advisor, leader, guru, nurturer, prompter, and life coach.

When I entered into those mentoring relationships I cared deeply about the individual and his and her growth both professionally and personally. One of the first things I said to each was this: “Here is a bit of advice I learned from a college professor that I want to pass along to you. It will change your life if you take this advice to heart. The advice is this: “LOVE THE PEOPLE.”

We, all of us, are ultimately in the people business and we can accomplish nothing without people. Genuinely, without shame and without reservations show love and respect for every individual with whom you come into contact. People can tell whether you care or not. Always care, genuinely and sincerely.

Using the ABC’s, lets cover the gamut of what being a mentor is all about:
Mentoring is applying what you’ve learned by pouring it into the life of another
Mentoring is being an example and being real
Mentoring is caring
Mentoring is daring and doing
Mentoring is explaining and expending energy and information
Mentoring is forging skill with experience
Mentoring is giving an opportunity for growth and development
Mentoring is giving up a part of you
Mentoring is helping one come to an understanding of his/her future career choice
Mentoring is honing skills
Mentoring is informing and instilling principles and philosophies
Mentoring is judgment formation skills
Mentoring is kindness
Mentoring is learning
Mentoring is molding
Mentoring is nudging
Mentoring is openness
Mentoring is preparing one for the future
Mentoring is offering quality instruction, conversations and life examples
Mentoring is responsibility
Mentoring is sharing, showing and it is serious
Mentoring is teaching and telling it like it is
Mentoring is understanding
Mentoring is vision
Mentoring is walking side by side, holding the light, showing the way along the path
Mentoring is extra time, work and attention to the facts that matter the most
Mentoring is yielding time
Mentoring is zeroing in on the essential

My mentors have enriched my life beyond what I could ever hope or dream. May you find exceptional mentors and may you have sense enough to listen, learn and then go and leave your own legacy with your own mentee.