Hand-Me-Down

Hand-Me Down

July 9, 2012

Growing up in a large family meant a few givens.  We ate left-over’s and we wore hand-me-down clothes.  Many times I’ve had to grow into and then out of a coat before passing it along to my brother. 

Hand-me-down ideas get passed along as well.  Just look at prejudices that exist between nationalities of people that have been passed on for generations, even centuries. 

Religions are good at passing along hand-me-down rules.  I remember the day when going to the movies was a fast ticket into hell.  And so was cigarette smoking and ladies wearing makeup.

Hand-me-down ideas exist.  Some are terrific.  Some are so passé.

Here are some good ones:

Honesty

Integrity

Promptness

Now what about some grey areas?

Some religious beliefs

Child rearing practices

Management and people skills

Note this:

Two sons of a drunkard father turned out completely opposite from each other.  One became a drunkard, like his father.  The other became a teetotaler.

Later in life, when asked why they turned out the way they did, each son gave the exact same answer.

“With a father like I had, what would you expect?”

One accepted the hand-me-down role model he saw and followed it.  The other son, seeing the ugly side of this road, chose to strike out on a new path. 

Denis Waitley, motivational speaker, told this story;

Every Easter his family would serve a delicious ham for their dinner.  As his wife was preparing the ham, she cut off the ends of the ham.  Denis asked her why she did that.

“Because my momma always did that.”

He called momma and asked her why she cut off the ends of the ham.

She said, “Because my momma always did that.”

Since the grandmother was still alive, Denis called her and asked why she cut off the ends of the ham before baking it.

She replied, “Because my baking dish is too small.”

That is hand-me-down thinking. 

What are your child-disciplining habits?  Where did you learn them? 

Just because someone taught us a skill, 

or we observed one way 

of performing a task 

does not mean 

that is the only way. 

The worst thing to do is hold onto an idea just because it was given to you, without question, without context, and without knowing why.

The best thing is to develop reasoning, ideas; philosophies because you have given thought, explored, and read from some trusted sources and experienced some of it for yourself. 

“The unexamined life is not worth living,” 

-Socrates

I don’t think he was a big fan of hand-me-down thinking. 

Michael Biggs

Offering Words  

To Think About

One Word at a Time

Be the Voice

Be the Voice

Whether you are running a race, developing a new product, building a bridge or guiding a child’s life, this is an axiom I believe in.

John Maxwell and Les Parrot said it in their book 25 Ways to Win with People.

People will go farther than they thought they could

when someone they respect tells them they can.

This is an example of encouragement at its finest.  Just imagine what the successful outcome might look like if we consistently whisper those magic words that can make a difference.  The words are … You can do it.

Say it to …

-People running a race

-A team wrestling with a product development issue

-A teen struggling with identity

-A Mom juggling a myriad of family responsibilities

-A frustrated athlete facing the starting line in a critical race

…And a few thousand other situations…

The right word at the right time can make all the difference in the world. 

Can you be that encouraging voice to someone today?  I imagine someone near you needs a dose of “you can do it” and they need it sooner rather than later.

Do it. 

   Be the voice. 

      Be the source.    

         Be the encouragement agent.

P Michael Biggs

Offering Encouragement

One Word at a Time

The Power of the Pause

The Power of the Pause

Have you ever unplugged?  You know, pressed pause, and stopped the music?

Doesn't that sound good?

Maria Shriver gave a commencement address recently and used the idea of “the power of the pause”.

When we press pause, several things are allowed room to sprout.

-We slow down. 

-We become aware of that particular moment in time. 

     Wow, living in the moment – what a fresh thought. 

-We put aside the “what’s coming next” syndrome for just a few minutes. 

-When we unplug, we sometimes find the doorway to our inner selves.  

     And if we dare  enter that sacred space, it could be a rich experience. 

-We could find an inner oasis – a place of peace, reverence, 

     understanding, solace, and yes, we might find God 

     waiting in that inner space. 

Gadgets are good, but so is solace on occasion.

Some notables down through history have practiced this withdrawal experience.  Christ often went to the mountains to be alone and pray.  Thoreau has his Walden Pond, Mother Teresa, Billy Graham and other spiritual giants have carved out time for their retreat experiences.

They stopped the 

outward journey 

and went within. 

Stephen Covey, in his book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, devotes a whole chapter to the concept of Take Time to Sharpen the Saw.

It’s something to think about for busy people like you.

I could give you an outline that I’ve used for my retreat times, but you are smart.  You can figure this out for yourself.  The most important thing is just do it.  Try it for 24 hours.  Go alone and be alone with your thoughts.  Be sure and take something to capture the ideas you generate

And drop me a line and let me know how it went. 

May peace be yours today.

P Michael Biggs

Offering Insight

One Word at a Time

Value Them

Value Them

John C. Maxwell says this:  

“You cannot add value to someone 

if you don’t first value them.”

There is a lot of talk about adding value to someone’s life, but do we know how to do that?

Here is a short list of 12 ways in which we can value others.

-We listen to their views without interrupting.

-We use appropriate eye contact when engaged in conversation.

-We trust them until they prove untrustworthy.

-We smile and acknowledge their presence.

-We send occasional notes of thanks and appreciation.

-We remember significant events in their lives.

-We use their names correctly.

-We build them up

-We show up on time for scheduled appointments.

-We praise incremental growth.

-We see them first as a human being.

-We recognize sacrificial acts and acknowledge them.

People matter!  And they want to know that they matter.

When we remember this, we always win with people.

Always!

P Michael Biggs

Developing People

One Word at a Time

The Name

The Name

(This is such a timely topic that I feel a need to post it.  It has circulated the web a few times over, but I never tire of being reminded of this important skill.  I wish I knew the origin of this story.  If I ever find out, I’ll post it on a future blog.)

“During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz.  I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" 

Surely this was some kind of joke.  I had seen the cleaning woman several times.  She was tall, dark-haired and in her fifties, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.  Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely" said the professor.  "In your careers, you will meet many people.  All are significant.  They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello." 

I've never forgotten that lesson.  I also learned her name was Dorothy.”

Your name is your most important possession on earth.  When people remember it and use it correctly you are being paid one of the most high compliments ever afforded an individual. 

You are being recognized and respected.

When you remember a person’s name you make them feel important.

Rule #1 in people skills – Make their day.  Remember their name. 

P Michael Biggs

A People Moment

One Moment at a time

How Will You Use Your Life

How Will You Use Your Life?

June 27, 2012

Ken Dychtwald, Ph.D., was once asked, “Ken, how will you use your life?”

My goodness.  That is a potent question.  It’s loaded with intrigue. 

At the heart of this question lies the power of choice.  It’s all about choice.

The foods we eat determine 

the quality of our health now

and especially in the future.

Our career choices determine our income,

where we live, how we live,

and the amount of life’s stuff

we accumulate.

The books we read affect our mindset,

our beliefs, and the fantasies we hold.

It’s a matter of choice. 

I know the kind of life I want and I am determining how I will use my life.  Exercise for me is a must-do activity in order for me to live to see my other dreams come true.  I use forty-five minutes five days each week to help move me toward the quality of life that I consider important.

See the importance of this question?

Career

   Family

      Thoughts

         Income

            Beliefs

               Health

It’s all a matter of how we use our lives.

How are you using your life?

We each get to choose.

P Michael Biggs

Moments of Insight

One Word at a Time

Are You a Believer

Are you a Believer?

What do you believe … about yourself? 

In the comic strip Shoe, Jeff MacNelly once depicted this scene:  “Shoe, the crusty newspaper editor, is standing on the mound in a baseball game.  His catcher comes out to him and says, ‘You’ve got to have faith in your curve ball.’ 

“In the next frame Shoe remarks, ‘It’s easy for him to say.  When it comes to believing in myself, I’m an agnostic.’”

That is the root of low self-esteem in the most succinct form possible. 

We are agnostics when it comes to believing in ourselves. 

John C. Maxwell says this in his little gem called Relationship 101: 

“People believe …

-They will fail.

-When they see a light at the end of the tunnel they believe it is a train.

Our eyes see what we perceive as reality and buy it.  But what we need to do is look with our understanding, our inner sight – our insight. 

If I fail at some point, that doesn’t mean that I am a failure.  As Thomas Edison is famous for saying, “Failure?  No, I’m not a failure, but I do know ten thousand formulas that will not work.”  

More times than not the light at the end of the tunnel is the dawning of a new day, a new beginning.  Embrace it.

Belief matters.

Believe in YOU!

P Michael Biggs

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time