Every Life Has a Story

Carolyn and I attended a memorial service today for the mother of a good friend.  The mortuary in which the service was held had this motto; “Every Life Has a Story.”

During the memorial service, Steve and his family shared different aspects of his mother’s life.  I kept thinking about this quote and reflecting on her story.  She lived a full and vibrant life all of her days on this earth.

Tell me your story.  I would love to sit down across from you and marvel at your story.  You have one.  You have good days, bad days, sad days, happy days.  You have funny moments, revelations, insights and experiences that I would listen to in wonder and awe.  Your story is speaking to people around you every minute of every day. 

What is your story?

Are you realizing your dreams from childhood now that you are older, or have you created new dreams?  Have you uncovered some new skills at this point in your life?  What story are you telling with the hopes and dreams you now hold?  Your story is the sum of your gifts, your interests, your code of ethics and your life experiences. 

-Are you thinking good thoughts?  Are they changing your life? 

-How is your God concept? 

-How is your relationship with those close to you?

-What are your ethics all about?

-Are you consistent in all areas of your life?

-Are the statements you make about your life true?

-Are you making good choices in life?

-Are you reading anything of value?

-Are you leaving good and lasting impressions on anyone?

-Are your footprints marking a clear path for someone else to follow?

Life is simply a matter of time invested, and those seconds and minutes turn into days and weeks and months.  And sooner rather than later, we see the end of our lives on the distant horizon and wonder at where we are compared to where we want to be.

All of this is adding to the story of our lives.

I am reminded of a Bible story.

“The master of the house called his servants together.  He was going on a long journey and he wanted to entrust some of his wealth to them. 

To one he gave five talents.  To another he gave two talents, and to the third he gave one talent, each according to his ability. 

And then he went on his journey.

Time passed.  When the master of the house returned he called his servants in for an accounting of what they had done. 

The one who had been given five talents reported that he had turned those five talents into another five talents, which he laid at his master’s feet.

The one who had been given two talents reported that he too had doubled his talents and he laid four talents before his master.

The one who had been given one talent hung back.  He didn’t want to give his accounting.

He said, “I know you worked hard for this money and I didn’t want to waste it, so I buried it in a safe place so that on your return I could give it back to you whole and complete. 

The master was not happy.  He said, “The least you could have done was invest it in the banks and let it draw interest.”  

The master wanted his servants to write some new chapters in the story of their lives.  He simply offered them opportunities.  Opportunities to add to the story of their lives.

We are writing our own story.  Every experience in our lives adds to this story.

Every life has a story. 

What a concept. 

I could tell you about all of my life’s accomplishments, but you wouldn’t be impressed.

Rather, I want to encourage you to discover or rediscover your dream, your passion, your life’s ambition, and complete your own story. 

I will share with you one part of my story yet to be fulfilled.  I dream that one day soon I will write the blog heard round the world. 

You read that right.  I want to write something that so resonant with people that they in turn will share this blog with relatives, friends and co-workers, who in turn will share it with their sphere until this yet unwritten blog goes around the world. 

Let me be quick to add this.  I don’t desire this for selfish reasons, but for the good of mankind.  My mission statement is this:  “Offering hope, encouragement and inspiration one word at a time.”  This is my desire, my passion and my focus. 

Now, that is a part of the story of my life.

What is your story?

You Are Enough

Your life is speaking to you.  What is it saying?

Oprah Winfrey aired her last show this past week.  We watched it. 

I marvel at the influence this woman has had on so many people for twenty-five years.  She doesn’t hold a ministerial license.  She is not a doctor of anything that I know of, yet she is and has been one major player in so many people’s lives.  She has touched the heart-strings of America. 

I want to recap a thought that she left us with in her last TV appearance.

She said, 

“You alone are enough.” 

That one concept makes me stand up and shout “YEAH!

Oprah said ‘we block our own blessings because we don’t feel enough.  We don’t feel good enough or pretty enough, worthy enough, rich enough.”

The world teaches us that.  Does it seem to you that everywhere you turn someone or some institution is always trying to find fault with you? 

I worked for a retail company who made a big deal out of that fact that the employees always needed coaching.  We could have an incredible week or month in sales, yet there was always something that they could find fault with. 

What a tragedy!

That mentality pervades society today. 

When are we ever enough?  Even at my absolute best, is that enough?  Am I ever good enough?  Handsome enough?  Pretty enough?  Slim enough?  Do I make enough money?  Do I walk right?  Sit right? 

The list goes on.

Oprah went on to say this:  “You are worthy because you are born.”

Wow!  I love that.  “You are worthy just because you are born.”  I want you to grab onto that concept and think about it, believe it, internalize it and live like somebody of worth. 

You are a worthy individual. 

You are enough!

Your life is speaking to you.  What is it saying?

The Go-Kart Chronicles

When I was four we lived in Nashville.  One summer Sunday afternoon my brother, Donny, and I decided to make a go-cart.  We began rummaging around our home and in the basement we found some old boards, nails, four wheels from an old wagon, and a rusty saw. 

Donny, age seven, took on the responsibility of “boss”.  He would tell me what to do and I did it to the best of my four-year-old abilities.  After we gathered our stuff together for this manufacturing feat we began laying out our go-cart. 

One of the boards needed to be sawed to a shorter length so Donny grabbed the old rusty saw and went to work.  I watched. 

He fought with the saw and the board, but just did not make any progress.  That old saw just would not cut that hard old cedar board. 

Finally, he assigned me the task of holding the board still while he sawed.  Back to work we went, with teamwork as our motto.  Donny sawed and I applied as much pressure as my thirty-two pound frame could muster.  Unfortunately, that was not enough.  The board still danced all over the saw horses.

Donny stopped sawing, looked at me and said in a stern voice, “Put more weight on the board!”

He then resumed sawing. 

I was holding onto the board with all my might, and then I had a flash of insight.  I reasoned that if I could get a better grip on the board then I could hold it really still. 

Just as I rose up to reapply more pressure on the board Donny made a big pull on the saw.  The saw came loose from the board.  Donny hit himself in the head with his saw hand; and then he got mad.  He got mad at me, at the saw, at the board, and at our go-cart project, but he took it out on me. 

He grabbed me by the head with his left hand and with the saw in his right hand he laid the saw on the top of my head and gave me two or three swipes with the saw blade.  As he sawed my head he muttered, “I told you to hold that board still!”

My head took four or five stitches and this story has given us some great family laughs in retrospect.

I think there are some principles in this story, and here they are. 

Gather your Supplies (Gather the Facts)

Before beginning any undertaking gather as many of the supplies or facts as you can before you begin.

Sharpen Your Saw (Read, study on the subject at hand)

Put a sharp edge on your most critical tools.  After gathering your stuff, sharpen, clean, organize and prepare them so that you know where they are, and that they are in as good a working order as can be. 

Get a Grip

Get a Grip.  Understand the basics to the best that you can.  Hold on to essential facts and keep a steady hand on your thoughts and the direction in which you are headed.  If you need to make an adjustment, let the critical people on your team know.

Hurts Heal

Hurts heal and stitches eventually come out.  If you make mistakes it is not the end of the world.  Patch up what you can, seek professional help when needed, and apply the appropriate remedy to promote recovery as quickly as possible.

Laugh It Off

If you make a mistake, laugh it off, learn from your mistakes, and move on.  Besides, it gives you something to remember in the future. 

Now, let’s go make a go-cart!

Why I Believe in Hope

Let’s take a stroll down the avenue.  “Well, look over there,” someone says.  “That’s nothing but a pile of rocks.”

The heart with hope sees the same pile of rocks and says, “Oh, look.  They are going to build a beautiful cathedral on this corner.”

How is your hope factor?  Are you full of hope, or are you running on fumes of despair?

Can you see the rainbow of promise?

Can you breathe deeply of the optimism around you, or are you hearing the hum of negativity?

I love what Emily Dickenson says.  “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul.” 

Hope begins in the dark.  When the world says “give up”, hope whispers “Try it one more time.”

Hope is an anchor for my soul.

Hope promises something better to come along.

Hope sustains in the dark hours.

Hope energizes.

Hope sharpens my vision of things yet to be.

As long as I draw breath I shall have hope.

I believe, therefore I have hope.

To hope is to risk pain.  To try is to risk failure, but risk and pain must be endured because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. 

Do you believe in hope?

Setting People Up for Success

In an age when so much of our business focus is on our last great success, I wonder what has happened to the individual in the process.

You see, I am a big believer in people. I’ve given speeches and written articles on It’s All about People. I’ve even named this blog with that handle.

When I have been charged with the management of individuals my first thought has always been “what can I do to help make you a success?”

It still is. That is why I write and speak along these lines.  I want to help people become better at what they do. I desire to provide the right tools, the thorough training, and the proper mental stimulation they need.

The bottom line is that I want to set people up for success, not failure.

I once worked for a manager who held his cards close to his vest. By the time I came to work for him I had worked in three other divisions within the same company. I had learned a few things, most of which was that each manager for whom I worked had their own slant on certain aspects of the job and the paper work.

It seemed that for the first month I did more to irritate my new manager than I did to enhance our working relationship. For instance, in the nightly paper work, I arranged and stapled the documents in the same way I did in my previous assignment. Mark, my new manager, had his own peculiar ways and order in which he wanted the paper work done.

One morning, in a rather stern tone, he pretty much raked me over the coals for not follow “proper procedure” as he put it. All I had been doing was performing in the way I had been allowed in three other departments, yet they did not match up to his particular way of doing things. He did not properly set me up for success.

How can you set your people up for success? Do you have rigid rules and guidelines and do you communicate them in a fair and clear way? Do you have a proper training program for every person and every job that matters in your organization? Do you want your people to succeed?

Set your people up for success. Give them training, guidelines, samples of the correct procedures that you want followed.

And above all, choose your battles. Not everything is a major skirmish. What is important? What is necessary and what is nice to have but not going to break the business if it is not followed to the letter?

Set your people up for success.

Dreams

What are your dreams? To what do you aspire?

I love what Norman Cousins once said. “Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside of us while we live.”

I want to be a believer in other people’s dreams. I want to be your greatest cheerleader. John Maxwell has some great advice for those of us who become cheerleaders of others dreams.

“Encouraging others in their pursuits of a dream is to give them a wonderful gift.
1. Ask them to share their dream with you.
2. Affirm the person as well as the dream.
3. Ask about the challenges they must overcome to reach their dream.
4. Offer your assistance.
5. Revisit their dream with them on a consistent basis.
6. Determine daily to be a dream booster, not a dream buster.

People will live up to their dreams when they have a chance to fulfill them.
Never allow yourself to become a dream killer.”

(From 25 Ways to Win with People, John C. Maxwell)

In Man of LaMancha, based on Cervantes’s classic work Don Quixote the protagonist, Don Alonzo pursues a life of chivalry and seeks to become a knight-errant long after that age of history has passed. He sees giants where others see windmills and quests where others see rabbit trails. He rescues a common prostitute named Aldonza, whom he sees as s beautiful lady. He calls her Dulcinea and makes her the object of his knightly exploits.

At first she resents him. She thinks he is mocking her, because she hates herself and her life. But with time, his vision of her replaces her own and gives her hope.

At the end of the story, Don Alonzo lies on his deathbed, and as he takes his last breath, Dulcinea
thanks him for seeing in her what she could not see in herself.

I just watched the movie The Blind Side staring Sandra Bullock. It is the true story of how she and her family took in a street kid named Michael Oher and literally transformed his life. They rescued him from a life of loss and damnation and gave him a leg up on life and a chance.

           That’s all – a chance.

Michael could have chosen to ignore this golden opportunity, but instead he embraced it. He hung in there, and with Leigh-Anne Tuohy’s steady hand and the consistent help of a tutor, he became not only a great football player but an honor student and a successful human being.

Michael dreamed, even as a kid, of escaping from the hell-hole he grew up in on the bad side of Memphis, and with the Tuohy’s help, found his way out.

Michael, like most of us, had aspirations and expectations

“Aspirations are goals/desires that are not weighted by the probability of success.
Expectations: Goals/desires that do factor in the probability of success.”

Stated by Jay MacLeod, at UW, Sociologist

So, what are your dreams?

What do you aspire to do or become?

Dream your dreams.

Paint them vividly and in detail.

To lose a dream is a great loss

Find ways to give your dreams feet and wings.

Hope Is Alive in Tomorrow

Today, I have more troubles than solutions.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, I can’t do anything right.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, I really screwed up with my wife.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, I don’t feel great about my life.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, trouble abounds on every hand.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, I have two left feet.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, the golf club felt like a heavy weight in my hands.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, the doctor said those nasty words no one wants to hear.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, I felt abandoned, alone, and afraid.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, I have more bills than bucks.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, I’m having a bad-hair day.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, it appears nobody loves me.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, my kids are out of control.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, I can’t give this stuff away, and I’m supposed to be an ace salesperson.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, the keys on my keyboard just sat and stared back at me.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, I wish I lived somewhere else.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, God seems as far away as the moon.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, my world went flat.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, my dreams got shot full of holes.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, I don’t think I can ever trust anyone again.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, I just want to crawl in a hole and never come out again.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, I got laid off.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, I was less than stellar in my craft.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, “I don’t love you” rang in my ears.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, they disconnected my utilities.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, the rent is due and …
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today, the stock market sank so low I had to look over the edge to see it.
--Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Today.

What was it that Scarlet said?

Oh, yes. I remember now.

“After all, tomorrow is another day.”

Dawn is coming. Hope is alive in tomorrow.

Life is hard.

Gen. David Petraeus once said,

“Hard is not hopeless”.